HEINZ KETCHUP IS NON-PARTISAN!
Thank god. Oh, thank god. Thank you, god.
(this is a true headline that I just heard on NPR, based on a Heinz press release. what. the. h-e-double-hockey-sticks. i’m sure – really, 100% positive – that there are about, oh, a BILLION things going on in the world that are more important. my goodness.)